The perfect Valentine’s – how to do it, like you MEAN it

Safia writes:

Let’s go to our favourite jazz venue, feast on organic food, melt away into each other’s eyes, openness and arms and… surrender.

That’s my fantasy but somehow I get stuck every Valentine’s Day on campaigns about sharing the love. I’m not talking about wild orgies here. I’m talking about Fairtrade roses, and ethical, conflict-free jewellery. But does all that ‘stuff’ really matter? Isn’t it about listening, love, acts of real kindness, and each other’s growth?

Needless to say, I become a very difficult person to please… However, people like me are growing in number; people who, even on, and maybe especially on, Valentine’s Day, want authenticity and ethics. Of course, I take no responsibility if my suggestions get you into trouble, or raise the expectations so HIGH that you find them difficult to sustain …

Here are some personal favourites that promote well-being, health and sustainability

  1. There are some very cool lingerie and underwear brands out there for men. They might delight in imagining you imagining them wearing them. Try Mighty Good Pants and Allvar – both great underwear brands for men.
  2. People Tree NightwearIf you’re buying for women, People Tree camisole sets are affordable, have impeccable organic cotton and fair trade quality and credentials, and are extra cute when used to wrap up a bottle of her favourite perfume or a book she would love.
  3. AmaElla-Duchess-organicFor a luxury lingerie experience try AmaElla where the organic panties and camisoles are pretty, feminine, and cut to flatter – with cute details of velvet ribbon and petal packaging. You feel loved. Organic intimates are a way of celebrating her gorgeousness and health.
  4. Po-Zu Red Resistance sneakers for you both? Hand-crafted in Portugal in organic cotton canvas for the active and fun, this ‘matchy-matchy’ look may be a little Japanese in aesthetic, but these sneakers are comfortable and stylish.po-zu_divine

How about adding one of my favourite chocolate brands, Divine? It’s a company owned by the cocoa producers and is good-tasting as well as good-looking. There seems to be a ‘matching’ trend in ethical weddings. If you’re into that form of showing commitment, people are getting wed top-to-toe in ethical fashion. (We love this photograph from Sarah Passos‘ nuptials – Fabulous Po-Zu wedding sneakers shot by Sara Reeve).

Po-Zu wedding sneakers
Fabulous Po-Zu wedding sneakers shot by Sara Reeve

And for those women amongst us not in a traditional relationship, we might want to empower ourselves with something experiential, like the film season Girlfriends about female friendships, at the BFI, Southbank, a selection of films which runs until 20 March. There’s also the classic “Romy And Michelle’s High School Reunion”, screening on 13th February for Galentine’s Day. If you’re not based in London, finding a film on a feminist theme for you and your friends is a fun and truly loving thing to do.

Most of all, be kind. Give warm smiles to strangers in the street if you feel it. And remember that it’s rare that someone is not in need of a little kindness…

I call my partner to ask what he would like for Valentine’s and he asks for an afternoon off, a leisurely lunch followed by a walk in the park. I guess the most precious gift is the gift of time.

And if you buy something new, buy ethically, so that the love and respect spreads to the producer, and the planet isn’t further stripped naked…